Genes and brain chemistry may be factors in addictions and compulsions—but so are negative emotions. Everyone has unresolved negative emotions from their past, and for some of us these emotions are very problematic.
We are unconsciously determined to go on experiencing these emotions. Hence, they constitute unconscious or secret attachments, meaning they are like emotional addictions.
These emotional addictions generate painful feelings that can take the form of self-rejection, self-condemnation, and even self-hatred. These negative emotions weaken us and undermine our capacity for self-regulation.
These attachments create powerful negative effects that include the weakening of our capacity for self-regulation. When we become more conscious of these attachments, we acquire more emotional strength and more capacity for self-regulation.
Unconscious emotional attachments lurk in our psyche like bugs, quirks, or viruses in a computer system. No matter how smart or capable we are, these attachments can mess up our chances for self-regulation, creativity, and success.
Because of these attachments, addictive personalities retain unresolved negativity in their psyche. Before addictive personalities become addicted to substances, they are first addicted to certain forms of negativity. This means they retain unpleasant emotions unresolved from childhood that include variations on feeling deprived, refused, controlled, helpless, criticized, rejected, betrayed, and abandoned.
People become addictive personalities under the influence of these negative emotions. This book reveals how and why such attachments to unresolved negative emotions remain locked in the psyche of addictive personalities. The book is a road map explaining the origins and nature of addictive behaviors and providing escape routes from this prison of suffering.
Among the questions answered: Why are addictive behaviors so hard to change? Why do addictive personalities deny the seriousness of the problem? Why are they so unconcerned about health and well-being? Is there a death wish involved in addictive behaviors, a secret determination to annihilate oneself?